The Mirror Test: What Self-Awareness Really Looks Like

Christina Byrne
Oct 14, 2025
2 min read

Leadership isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about asking the right questions — especially the uncomfortable ones:

Who am I when things fall apart?
How do I make others feel in my presence?

Like many, I once assumed reflection meant self-awareness. But reflection and awareness aren’t the same thing. Reflection helps you think about experiences; awareness helps you grow from them. Organizational psychologist Tasha Eurich found that while 95% of people believe they’re self-aware, only about 10–15% actually are. That statistic hit me like a mirror I didn’t ask for — and couldn’t look away from.

The Two Sides of Self-Awareness

Internal awareness: Understanding your values, triggers, and emotional impact.
External awareness: Recognizing how others experience you.

Both matter. One without the other is like driving at night with only one headlight — you’ll keep moving, but you’ll miss what’s right in front of you.

As John C. Maxwell writes in The Self-Aware Leader, growth starts the moment we stop defending our blind spots and start learning from them. Patrick Lencioni’s The 6 Types of Working Genius echoes this truth — self-awareness isn’t a luxury; it’s a leadership skill.

A Lesson from the Fire

Living with multiple sclerosis stripped away my “I’m fine” mask and replaced it with something harder but better: honesty. It forced me to know my limits, name my fears, and accept help — lessons that later shaped how I lead.

You can’t guide others through chaos if you haven’t made peace with your own. As Brené Brown reminds us in Dare to Lead, vulnerability isn’t weakness — it’s the birthplace of courage and connection.

Self-awareness isn’t about perfection; it’s about being honest enough to see where you’re not.

Try This Mirror Test

Ask yourself — and mean it:

What’s it like to be on the other side of me?
What emotions do I bring into a room?
Do I respond, or do I react?
Do people follow me out of respect or routine?

As Stephen M. R. Covey explains in Trust & Inspire, people follow leaders who make them feel seen and safe — not managed. The real power of leadership isn’t in authority; it’s in awareness.