The Voice in Your Head Needs Better Leadership

What Chatter taught me about imposter syndrome, anxiety, and learning to coach myself

I just finished reading Chatter by Ethan Kross, and I’ve wanted to stand on a rooftop recommending it to anyone who has ever been trapped in their own thoughts.

Which means… many of us.

My History with “Chatter”

Long before I had language for it, I had chatter.

Sometimes it looked like:

• Imposter syndrome 

• Expansion anxiety 

• Replaying conversations 

• Overpreparing because I was afraid to fail 

• Nervous stomach before normal workdays 

• Assuming one delayed email meant catastrophe 

• Wondering if I was enough, despite evidence 

  
  

Outwardly, I often looked capable and composed.

Internally? A full committee meeting.

Sound familiar?

The Insight That Stopped Me in My Tracks

One of the most powerful ideas in the book is called distanced self-talk.

Instead of saying:

Why am I like this?

How am I going to get through today?

Use your own name or “you.”

So now I might say:

Christina, you’ve led harder meetings than this.

You know how to prepare.

You do not need to be perfect today.

You just need to be present.

That tiny language shift creates emotional distance.

It turns panic into perspective.

It moves you from being inside the storm to observing the weather.

Why This Hit Me Personally

I’ve had a season of rapid professional growth that has stretched me in every possible way.

New environment. Bigger role. More visibility. More compensation. Higher stakes.

Wonderful things can still trigger fear.

That’s something people don’t talk about enough.

Growth can sound like:

• What if I can’t sustain this? 

• Do I really deserve this opportunity? 

• Can I keep up? 

  
  

That’s why I love the phrase expansion anxiety.

Sometimes you’re not failing.

You’re growing faster than your identity has caught up.

What I’m Practicing Now

When the chatter starts, I’m trying:

1. Use my name

Christina, breathe. You’ve done harder things.

2. Talk to myself like someone I care about

I would never speak to a friend the way I sometimes speak to myself.

3. Zoom out

Will this matter in a week? A year? Often, no.

4. Replace proving with contributing

Instead of “How do I impress?” ask “How can I help?”

For My Fellow High Achievers

If you’re successful on paper but still battle your own mind, you are not alone.

Competence does not automatically silence insecurity.

Titles do not erase old stories.

Achievement does not always heal self-doubt.

But awareness helps.

Tools help.

Language helps.

Final Thought

The goal is not to eliminate the voice in your head.

The goal is to become a wiser leader of it.

And if no one has told you lately:

You do not need to earn rest through anxiety.

You do not need to panic to perform.

You do not need to be fearless to be effective.

You just need the next right thought.

Christina, keep going.