The Best Insult I Ever Received (and How Failure Taught Me to Fail Forward)

Some insults sting for a minute.

Others rearrange your DNA.

Years ago, I was passed over for a promotion I wanted badly. I had done everything “right”—worked hard, showed up early, stayed late. I truly believed it was my moment.

When the verdict came back “not this time,” I played it cool on the outside. Inside, I was rattled. Questioning my value, my instincts, everything.

And then came the comment I’ll never forget:

“Christina, you focus too much on people… and not enough on the future of transportation.”

It was meant to diminish me.

Instead, it clarified me.

Because here’s what I knew instinctively:

The future of transportation is people.

Projects succeed or fail because of people.

Communities support or oppose because of people.

Trust is built — or broken — by people.

So yes, I focused “too much” on people.

And that criticism ended up being the greatest confirmation of who I am.

THE THRIFT STORE WAKE-UP CALL

Weeks later, while thrifting with my sons, a book practically jumped off the shelf:

Failing Forward by John C. Maxwell.

It wasn’t gifted to me by a mentor or recommended by a colleague. It was sitting between a used toaster and a stack of paperbacks — $2.99 and exactly the lesson I needed.

I bought it begrudgingly.

I wanted validation, not perspective.

But Maxwell wrote one line that cracked me open:

“The difference between average people and achieving people is how they respond to failure.”

Annoying at first.

Transformational later.

That’s when I realized:

I hadn’t failed.

I had been redirected.

THE REFRAME

That “no” forced harder questions:

• Was I in the right room?

• Was the work aligned with my purpose?

• Was I shrinking to fit someone else’s leadership mold?

• Was this even the path I wanted?

Shockingly… every answer was no.

The rejection wasn’t rejection — it was information.

It pushed me toward roles where my people-first instincts weren’t misunderstood… they were valued.

THE INSULT THAT BECAME MY IDENTITY

What was meant to discourage me revealed my strength.

I don’t focus on people “too much.”

I focus on people enough.

Enough to build trust.

Enough to build consensus.

Enough to make projects meaningful, not just measurable.

Enough to create outcomes that last.

The very thing they rejected

is the very thing I’m known for today.

THE REAL TRUTH ABOUT FAILURE

Failing Forward was right:

Failure isn’t the opposite of success — it’s the foundation of it.

Everything that followed —

my leadership growth, career pivots, clarity, confidence, even my book —

all grew out of a season where I felt lost.

In the uncomfortable space between “no” and “next,”

I discovered my purpose.

That is failing forward.

TAKEAWAY

Sometimes you’re not being denied — you’re being developed.

Sometimes the “insult” is actually your identity.

Sometimes the “no” is the doorway to where you belonged all along.

A REFLECTION FOR YOU

Think about a moment where you were redirected rather than rejected:

• What did it teach you?

• What did it protect you from?

• What did it push you toward?

• How did it shape you?

Here’s my unfiltered truth:

Rejection didn’t ruin me.

It revealed me.

And it rerouted me to exactly where I was meant to be.